I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My brain says no but my pants say off.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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