We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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