How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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