Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
