So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
