Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
