mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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