She's JV to your varsity
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
