Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
