just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
