Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
