We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
