I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
