so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
