FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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