Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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