then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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