so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize