I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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