I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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