Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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