YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
