pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
