How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
