i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Found your dick twin last night
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
