dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
