he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
