I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize