I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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