She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
