I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
