the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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