Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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