he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
