She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
