Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
