the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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