She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Help. Why am I so naked?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
