Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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