Duck Duck Cougar?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
