were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
