I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Randomize
