Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
