Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize