either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
