I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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