How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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