If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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