Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
