My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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