i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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