great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
God, I missed his penis.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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