It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
