Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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