And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
