I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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