i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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