I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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